What Type of Relationship?

The Saying We Love

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Christianity is not a religion, it’s a relationship.” It’s a popular saying for American Christians, especially in evangelical circles, and it’s got a certain ring to it. The idea behind it is to make Christianity seem more appealing—less about dusty rituals, more about a living connection with Jesus. 

There’s something attractive there, and it’s not entirely off-base. 

After all, Jesus said, “I no longer call you servants… I have called you friends” (John 15:15). The New Testament teaches this personal dynamic—grace, faith, a God who knows us. But here’s where I want to pause: Christianity is a religion. And denying that it is a religion doesn’t just oversimplify—it misses the bigger picture of what God’s doing through the covenant relationship He created through Jesus.

Where the Phrase Holds—and Falters

Let’s take a deeper look at the saying. On one hand, it’s trying to capture something real. It pushes back against the stereotype of religion as cold formalism—think Pharisees with their rules, missing the heart of God. The “relationship” bit highlights how Christianity invites us into something intimate, transformative, and even messy as we face the challenges of maturity. It’s not wrong to say that knowing Jesus changes everything. 

But calling it “not a religion” misses the reality of how we have a relationship with God. Christianity has sacred texts (the Bible), doctrines (Trinity, atonement), rituals (baptism, communion), and disciplines (meditation, prayer, fasting). That’s religion by any definition. To ditch the term “religion” is to set up a false split—religion as the bad guy, relationship as the hero. It sounds catchy, but it is not true.

Covenant: The Bigger Frame

Here’s the thing: Christianity doesn’t need to shed “religion” to appeal to people. It’s a religion defined by a relationship—one that’s rooted in covenant. 

So what’s a covenant? It’s a sacred agreement that is binding. In the case of Christianity, it is an agreement between God and His people, that blends commitment and loyalty with purpose and promise. God doesn’t just deal with us as scattered individuals; He binds us to Himself and to each other through promises that echo across history. Think of Abraham: “I will be your God, and you will be my people” (Genesis 17:7). Or the new covenant in Jesus’ blood, sealing us as a “chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation” (1 Peter 2:9). This isn’t just a private “me and Jesus” thing—it’s a communal reality, a people set apart by God.

When “Relationship” Shrinks the Story

The “relationship, not religion” line risks shrinking God’s covenant down. It turns faith into a cozy, solo experience, sidelining the bigger, messier truth of covenant life.

Yes, it’s personal—God knows your name, your doubts, your hopes. But it’s also bigger than you. The Bible’s covenants—from Noah to Moses to Christ—always involve a community with a purpose. Israel’s whole identity was wrapped up in being God’s covenant people, even when they stumbled. The early church got it too, sharing everything and growing together (Acts 2:44-47). That’s not just a personal relationship; that’s religion lived out in the real world.

Why Covenant Matters

So why does this matter? Because leaning too hard on “relationship” alone can miss what God’s after. Covenant means we’re not just in this for ourselves. We’re tied to each other—responsible to help, forgive, and carry burdens. Galatians 6:2 says, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” (NLT). That’s not optional; it’s the covenant at work. The phrase might sell books or fill pews, but it’s too small for the God who calls a nation, not just a fan club.

Reframing the Faith

Christianity is a religion, no question about it. 

Christianity is a relationship, that is absolutely correct. 

Christianity is a covenant relationship—personal and communal, intimate and expansive. Maybe the saying needs a rewrite: “Christianity isn’t just a religion—it’s a covenant that makes us God’s people.” 

Less catchy, that is true, but it holds the weight of the story.

Are You Religious?

In Western Christianity, the word religion is often treated almost like a cuss word. Phrases like “You don’t want to have a religious spirit” or “Christianity is a relationship, not a religion” are commonly heard.

Despite this, I proudly acknowledge that I am a religious person. Why? Because I believe religion is how we express and nurture our relationship with God.

Religion provides structure—a way for us to show our love for God and hear from Him. Unlike our relationships with friends and family, our relationship with God requires a different approach. We can’t have a face-to-face conversation, give God a hug, or play a game with Him. While God is always with us, these activities aren’t the same as experiencing them with Him. Religion serves as a framework to facilitate this divine relationship.

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The Divine and Human Nature of Religion

Many rituals practiced by God’s people over the centuries were directly given by Him. This is especially evident in the Old Testament. The books of Exodus and Leviticus contain detailed instructions about how the Israelites were to relate to God. A careful reading reveals how specific and intentional God was in prescribing these practices.

However, some religious rituals arise from human traditions rather than direct Scriptural commands. These practices are often born out of human efforts to honor God and provide meaning to His people. Though not Biblically mandated, these traditions can still be valuable in expressing faith and worship.

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The Christian Approach to Religion and Tradition

As a follower of Jesus, I understand that the laws and rituals given to Israel were designed for a specific purpose: to set them apart as God’s chosen people and help them represent Him in the world. For instance, the animal sacrifices that renewed Israel’s covenant relationship with God are no longer necessary because we live under a New Covenant.

This New Covenant, established through Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, invites us to renew our commitment through practices like Communion. This ritual, given to us by Jesus, is part of the religious framework that enables us to nurture our relationship with God.

Additionally, I appreciate certain traditions that have developed over time, such as celebrating Christmas or gathering for worship in church buildings. While not commanded in Scripture, these traditions enrich our worship and deepen our connection with God.

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Religion’s Purpose: Transformation

Beyond facilitating our relationship with God, religion serves another essential purpose: transformation. Christian rituals and traditions are not just about connecting with God; they are tools to help us become the people God created us to be.

James speaks to this in his letter:

"If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you" (James 1:26-27, NLT).

James reminds us that religion is not about going through the motions. It’s about transformation. True religion develops self-control, fosters compassion for the needy, and cultivates purity in a world full of sin. Without these outcomes, our religious practices are empty and meaningless.

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Faith: The Key to True Religion

The effectiveness of religion—or any spiritual discipline—depends on faith. Faith is our choice to commit to and trust God. Without faith, religion becomes a hollow shell of rituals and traditions. Without faith, life’s trials and tragedies lack purpose. Without faith, God’s wisdom—revealed in Scripture—is reduced to mere advice. Faith breathes life into religion, enabling it to transform us.

God cannot change our lives or restore us to true life unless we trust Him. Ultimately, it’s not about simply being religious; it’s about being faithful. This leads us to two critical questions:

1. Who am I faithful to?

2. Will I trust Him with my life?

If our answers aren’t “Jesus” and “yes,” our religion might just be worthless. True religion, empowered by faith, is a gift from God. It draws us closer to Him and shapes us into the people He created us to be.