Paul’s Radical Call to Love: Mutual Submission

Have you ever read a Bible passage and thought, That sounds a little outdated—but in the process you missed out on how revolutionary the thought was?

I think that is the case with Ephesians 5:21–33. On the surface, Paul’s words about wives submitting to husbands and husbands loving their wives can sound like they belong in another century. But if we could hear them the way the first Christians in Ephesus did, we would be stunned the new cultural standard the Apostle was setting for this group of Jesus Followers.

Paul wasn’t reinforcing the power structures of his day—he was turning them upside down.

Mutual Submission: A Shock to the System

Paul begins this section with a thought that would have stopped his readers in their tracks:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)

In the Roman world, submission was what their culture was built on. We see this hierarchy laid out in the household code that he lays out following this sentence—slaves obeying masters, wives deferring to husbands, children doing exactly what they were told. We need to understand that the idea that everyone in the church should submit to one another was unthinkable.

If we focus on what Paul says about the roles found in marriage, he doesn’t undo them, but he reframes them. Wives are called to trust and respect their husbands “as to the Lord” (v. 22), this was not surprising. Within the larger Roman world, wives were expected to submit to their husbands. Wives submitting to their husbands was not counter cultural.

What was counter cultural is that husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (v. 25). Paul spends time teaching husbands why this is important, because it was not assumed that husbands would love their wives. The husband’s responsibility was control. The Christian vision of marriage is that of mutual submission, and the way the husband submits to his wife is by loving her well.

It’s like a dance. The wife follows her husband’s lead, but his lead isn’t about control—it’s about sacrifice, like Jesus washing His disciples’ feet or dying on the cross.

Flipping the Household Code

In Paul’s day, philosophers like Aristotle had already written “household codes” explaining how the family should work. These codes always started with the paterfamilias—the male head of the household—who ruled over everyone. Wives, children, and servants were told to obey. The man’s job? Be in charge.

Paul starts in a way that sounds familiar—wives submit, husbands lead—but then he flips the script. Instead of telling husbands to simply “manage” their wives, he commands them to love their wives like Christ loved the church. That means sacrificial, self-emptying love. It means putting her needs ahead of his own. It means putting her needs and desires ahead of your own. It means doing what is best for the family. It means being willing to die for her.

In a culture where the man answered to no one in his household, Paul says: You submit, too. That’s not Aristotle. That’s Jesus. That is a radical and counter cultural teaching that we miss.

Why It Matters Now

We’re far removed from the Roman world, but these words still push against our instincts. Some people get stuck on “wives submit” and miss the weight of “husbands love.” Others bristle at the idea of submission entirely. But when we read Ephesians 5 through the lens of verse 21—mutual submission—it becomes clear: Paul’s vision is about love that gives, not power that takes.

Whether you’re married or not, the principle stands: In Christ, relationships aren’t about control, but about reflecting His humility. We serve each other because He served us first. We submit to one another because He laid down His life for us.

A Challenge

When you think about your relationships—marriage, friendships, church, workplace—what would change if you saw every interaction through the lens of mutual submission?

What if your first question wasn’t “How can I get my way?” but “How can I love like Christ here?”

This week, try it. In the moment when you want to win the argument, control the plan, or make the call—pause. Remember Paul’s words. Choose the path of humility.

Because in the Kingdom of God, greatness isn’t measured by how many people serve you—it’s measured by how willing you are to serve them.

Embracing Diversity with Humility

Have you ever caught yourself quietly labeling someone—strange, naïve, maybe even immoral—not because they’ve done something truly wrong, but simply because they didn’t do things your way?

It’s funny how quickly it happens. Someone approaches a situation differently than we would, and without thinking, our minds go into silent critique mode: What were they thinking? From there, it’s not a big leap to conclude they’re foolish, misguided, or wrong. The only “crime” they committed was failing to meet the unspoken standard in our heads.

The Bible has a word for this: pride. It’s that inner voice whispering, My way is best. My perspective is right. My values are superior. Once we buy into that, it becomes dangerously easy to judge, dismiss, and divide.

The irony? Most of us would agree that diversity—of thought, culture, personality, and background—is a gift from God. A world where everyone thought and acted identically would be dull, robotic, and stagnant. Yet the very differences we claim to celebrate often become the fuel for our harshest judgments.

Jesus Takes It Seriously

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said something that should stop us in our tracks:

“You have heard that it was said to our ancestors, Do not murder, and whoever murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Whoever insults his brother or sister will be subject to the court. Whoever says, ‘You fool! ’ will be subject to hellfire.”
(Matthew 5:21–22, CSB)

Jesus isn’t exaggerating here. He’s making the point that contempt, insults, and name-calling come from the same heart that fuels murder. They degrade the image of God in others, and they poison our own hearts in the process.

A Better Way

The Apostle Paul gives us a different standard:

Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
(Ephesians 4:1–3, CSB)

Humility doesn’t mean abandoning truth or convictions. It means acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers, and that other people—different as they may be—are worth listening to, learning from, and loving.

It means pausing before we slap on a label.
It means trading the instinct to condemn for the discipline of curiosity.
It means seeing diversity not as a flaw to fix, but as part of God’s beautiful design.

Not every choice people make is wise or godly—but our first step shouldn’t be knee-jerk condemnation. God calls us to discernment rooted in love, not in pride.

Today’s Challenge

So this week, notice your labels.

Slow down before speaking.

Choose to listen before you judge.

And when you see someone who is different—in thought, in practice, in culture—thank God for the gift of diversity, and ask Him to help you respond with humility.

Because when we embrace diversity with the heart of Jesus, we don’t just tolerate differences—we reflect the Kingdom.

Lessons from the King: Judging Others

 Imagine being accused of a crime you didn’t commit—not because of hard evidence, but because a computer said you were guilty. That’s what happened to Jason Vernau, a medical entrepreneur who spent three days in jail after being falsely accused of check fraud. AI-driven facial recognition software flagged him as a match for a bank customer involved in fraud. The twist? Jason was at the bank that day—but only to deposit a legitimate check. The technology made a hasty connection, and the investigators ran with it, failing to dig deeper or consider the full story.

“This is your investigative work?” Vernau asked in disbelief. “You have a picture of me at a bank and that’s your proof? Where’s my fingerprints on the check? Where’s my signature?” The charges were eventually dropped, but the damage was done—all because of flawed judgment based on incomplete information.

Too often, we’re not so different. We jump to conclusions and pass judgment on others without knowing the whole picture. But as citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven, Jesus calls us to something better—a righteousness that reflects humility, love, and mercy rather than condemnation.

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A Kingdom Heart

In our series Lessons from the King, we’re diving into the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus teaches us what it means to live as citizens of His Kingdom. Early in this sermon, He sets the bar high:

“Unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!” (Matthew 5:20, NLT).

The Pharisees’ righteousness was all about rules, appearances, and exclusion. Jesus, however, calls us to a righteousness that flows from the heart—a transformed desire and will, rooted in allegiance to Him as our King. That’s where true change begins.

Today’s lesson from Matthew 7:1-7 challenges us to reject the judgmental spirit of the Pharisees and embrace Kingdom values instead. To understand this, let’s look at how Jesus critiqued the Pharisees in Matthew 23:2-4, 13. He condemned their hypocrisy—they burdened people with rules, judged them harshly, and declared them unfit for God’s Kingdom, all while refusing to lift a finger to help.

Kingdom citizens, Jesus says, must be different. Our righteousness is built on humility, mercy, and love.

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Do Not Judge—Or Do We?

“Judge not, lest you be judged” (Matthew 7:1-2) is one of the most quoted verses in the Bible—and often misunderstood. At first glance, it might seem like Jesus is telling us to avoid all moral discernment. But context is key. Just a few verses later, in Matthew 7:6 and 15, He instructs us to discern wisely—about who we share the Gospel with and how we identify false prophets.

So what does He mean?

Jesus isn’t forbidding us from recognizing right and wrong. He’s warning against the kind of judgment the Pharisees practiced—condemning others and shutting them out of God’s Kingdom. That’s not our job.

When we rush to condemn, we risk two consequences:

1. The standard we use on others will be turned back on us—by people and ultimately by God. If we refuse to forgive, we won’t be forgiven.
2. We’re stepping into a role reserved for God alone, who sees the full story of every heart.

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Start with Yourself

Jesus drives this home with a vivid, almost comical image:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3-5).

It’s ridiculous to imagine someone with a log sticking out of their eye trying to help someone else with a tiny speck. Yet that’s what we do when we judge others without examining ourselves first.

This isn’t about ignoring sin in others. It’s about humility—recognizing that we only see a fraction of their story while knowing our own flaws all too well. The Pharisees acted righteous without being righteous, condemning others while ignoring their own hypocrisy.

Jesus calls us to confess our sins, turn to God, and approach others with mercy. Only then can we offer help rather than judgment, pointing people to Jesus with love.

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Wise Discernment, Not Blind Acceptance

Lest we think Jesus wants us to throw caution to the wind, He adds:

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs” (Matthew 7:6).

Here, He calls for discernment. Dogs and pigs were unclean animals in Jewish culture, often symbols for those hostile to God’s ways. Jesus isn’t saying we should write people off lightly—He’s teaching us to focus our efforts wisely.

If someone has shown contempt for the Gospel, rejecting Jesus outright, we shouldn’t waste energy forcing it on them. They might “turn and tear you apart,” derailing our mission to share God’s love with those who are open.

This is why Jesus taught in parables: they revealed who was truly seeking God and who wasn’t. Our job is to share what’s holy with the receptive and pray for those who resist, trusting God to work in their hearts.

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Living as Kingdom Citizens

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged” might be famous in our culture, often wielded as a shield for bad behavior. But Jesus isn’t endorsing blind acceptance. He’s calling us to rise above the Pharisees’ condemnation and embody Kingdom values.

We’re to be humble, knowing we’re sinners saved by grace.
We’re to be merciful, offering help rather than exclusion.
And we’re to be discerning, focusing on those open to God’s truth while praying for His enemies.

The big idea is this: Citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven don’t condemn but show humility, love, and mercy to others.

It’s tempting to judge—especially when we hold God’s Word and see where others fall short. But Kingdom citizens realize God has been merciful to us, and we’re called to extend that grace to others.

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A Challenge and a Prayer

When the urge to judge strikes, hit pause and pray. As Scot McKnight puts it, “We are to conclude ‘that is wrong’ and ‘that is good,’ but we must not pronounce ‘you are condemned by God.’”

We’re citizens of the Kingdom, not the King. Only He knows the heart.

So today, thank God for Jesus, who makes us part of His Kingdom. Ask Him for wisdom to examine your own life first. And pray for someone who needs His forgiveness—maybe even someone you’ve been tempted to judge.

Let’s live out the righteousness of the Kingdom, reflecting our King’s heart in all we do.

Revisiting the Bible: A Call to Humility and Submission

Being far removed from the time when the Bible was written is both a blessing and a challenge. On the one hand, we profit from centuries of insights from Christians who have studied, pondered, and sought to faithfully teach the Scriptures. Their work provides us with a valuable resource of meditations, teachings, and examples of faith that continue to benefit us today.

On the other hand, this distance can be a challenge because of the assumptions and doctrines we bring to the Bible. While the contributions of theologians and scholars are invaluable, they can sometimes hinder our understanding of the Bible’s intended meaning. Too often, we treat their teachings as the final word on Biblical doctrine, leaving little room for exploration or questioning. This elevates human interpretation above the divine truth revealed in Scripture.

Biblical Christianity must be rooted in God’s Word rather than in the interpretations of even the most brilliant thinkers. Our standard for truth cannot be defined by what someone else declares it to be. Instead, it must be grounded in the truth God has revealed through the Bible.

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A Call to Submission

I am reminded of a thought-provoking observation from Scot McKnight in his commentary on Galatians:

“Our stance is submission to whatever the text says, regardless of what that means for our thinking and lifestyle. We are using a slippery escape when we distort the interpretation so that it fits our predispositions; we are not finding a slippery escape when we accept the text as it stands, regardless of its implications for life. Every honest interpreter can give countless examples of finding himself or herself to be simply wrong and in need of God’s grace as a result of reading the Bible with the purpose of hearing God’s word.” (The NIV Application Commentary: Galatians, p. 56)

This quote challenges us to approach Scripture with humility, ready to submit to its message even when it disrupts our assumptions. It reminds us that we must let God’s Word shape us rather than trying to shape Scripture to fit our preferences.

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Understanding the Historical Context

One way to approach the Bible with humility is to remember that it was written in a particular time and place in history. Understanding the Bible in its historical context is crucial for uncovering its true message. Each book of the Bible was written in a specific cultural, historical, and linguistic setting. Without considering these factors, we risk misinterpreting its meaning or projecting modern assumptions onto ancient texts.

For example, understanding the cultural practices and political tensions of first-century Judea can shed light on Jesus’ teachings, while exploring the legal codes of the Ancient Near East can provide deeper insights into the Old Testament laws. By studying the Bible with an awareness of its original context, we can better appreciate its timeless truths.

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Leaning on Trusted Scholars

Since the Bible was written in a particular place, time, and culture, we must have the humility to acknowledge that there are aspects of it we may not fully understand. Even with an excellent translation, thoughts, metaphors, and cultural nuances might go over our heads.

This is where scholars become a vital resource. Their expertise in ancient languages, culture, and history provides a fuller picture of what the Bible conveys. They help us grasp the ideas behind the words that English translations alone cannot always capture.

By learning from Biblical scholars, we gain a deeper understanding of Scripture and its application to our lives.

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Understanding Other Perspectives

Engaging with others who hold different interpretations is another valuable way to deepen our understanding of Scripture. Listening to perspectives that differ from our own challenges us to think critically and examine our beliefs. It helps us better understand why we believe what we believe.

Healthy dialogue can uncover nuances in the text we might overlook on our own. Such conversations foster unity and mutual growth, reminding us that we are all seeking to know God more fully. By approaching these discussions with humility and a willingness to learn, we grow together in faith.

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A Challenge for Christians

I want to offer you a challenge: approach the Bible with the singular goal of hearing God’s Word. Set aside your preconceived notions, your theological positions, and even your sense of certainty. Open your heart and mind to what God has to say.

How many times have we missed out on hearing God’s voice because we approached the Bible with the belief that we already had it all figured out? Humility is key. It means being willing to admit that we don’t have all the answers and that our interpretations may need correction.

But in exchange, we gain a deeper understanding of God and a closer relationship with Him. That, I believe, is a trade worth making.

The ME Centered Life

 

American society seems to prioritize the individual over the community. I think this reality is reflected in our rampant consumerism. Consumerism is the constant acquisition of goods and services in the pursuit of happiness. This means we prioritize our own desires over the well-being of others and the environment. For example, we are willing to discard last year's model for the smallest improvement on this year's model.

This one of the reasons why I think the fundamental issue with consumerism narcissism. We tend to prioritize our own wants and desires, without considering the consequences of our actions. We often seek pleasure and immediate gratification, without thinking about the long-term effects on ourselves or others.

This narcissistic mentality is pervasive in the world. We can see it in a cheating spouse to a teenager seeking a quick high. Our world teaches us to chase the momentary pleasure without considering the long-term consequences of our actions. When we have this mind set what matters more than anything else is getting what we want.

However, a life centered solely around ourselves will eventually catch up with us, and the pain and misery of the consequences always outweigh the short-term pleasure we sought.

In his book Uprising, Erwin McManus wrote:

In the midst of our growing fragmentation, we have never been more focused on the individual than we are today. This focus plays itself out in unbridled consumerism. While materialism is certainly an outgrowth of consumerism, it isn’t its primary focus. Consumerism’s primary product in our culture is narcissism. Remember, narcissism is a life in which everything is about us.

While pursuing a life centered on ourselves may bring temporary pleasure, it inevitably leads to negative consequences that outweigh any enjoyment we may have experienced. Unfortunately, the world's solution to avoiding these consequences is to pursue an even more self-centered lifestyle.

However, the key to a fulfilling life is found in focusing on relationships with others, rather than on ourselves.

In contrast, the New Testament emphasizes the importance of community and loving one another. Our best experiences in life come from investing time and love in other people. If relationships are the most important thing to us, then we will prioritize loving others rather than gratifying our desires.

As the Apostle Paul wrote,

Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT)

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

Ultimately, the life of a Christian is not about putting ourselves first but rather focusing on loving God and loving our neighbors. We are not the most important thing in the universe, and living our lives as if we were will lead to a dissatisfying existence. By prioritizing relationships and serving others, we can discover the fulfilling life that Jesus promised us.

The pursuit of a self-centered life may bring temporary pleasure, but it ultimately leads to negative consequences. The key to a fulfilling life is found in prioritizing relationships and focusing on others, rather than solely on ourselves.

Philippians: Lights in the World

STOP — Philippians 2:12-18

Summarize

Paul wanted the Philippians to obey him in this teaching of humility. It wasn’t enough for them to do what is right when he was there, it was even more important to do it when he wasn’t there. When they lived a life of obedience they continued the work of salvation in their life. God would join them in this work. To live in humility and to work out their salvation meant they needed to quit grumbling and arguing, but live as holy people. Their good lives should make them stand out in the world around them. Paul wanted them and him to find joy in their humble obedience as they grew in their spiritual formation.

Truth

Our lives can be a light in the darkness when we follow the example of Jesus.

Observations

1. The Philippians obeyed when Paul was around. They wanted to please him. Now Paul wants to emphasis that they need to obey even when he wasn’t there. Our obedience should not be dependent on who is watching us. True faith leads us to do the right thing even when there is no immediate benefit to us.
2. We miss out on spiritual formation when we neglect living with humility and being obedient. We need to take this seriously, fear and trembling, and not just treat it as a nice optional thing to do.
3. God is at work with us to transform our lives. So our transformation isn’t just about our effort, it is God working in us. We need to trust that He is at work.
4. Two things we need to avoid, things that will effect our unity, are grumbling and arguing. It is our unity and working together in one purpose that helps us stand out, to shine like stars, in this world.
5. Their continued spiritual formation is confirmation that Paul’s efforts are not being wasted. He needed to know that his sacrifice was making a difference.
6. The Philippians should find joy in their spiritual formation, just as Paul did. We need to be joyful in the positive change that happens to those around us because of their faith.

Prayer

Lord God, help me to be obedient. I want to experience the transformation you have for my life.

Tomorrow: Philippians 2:19-30

Philippians: Have the Attitude of Jesus

 

STOP — Philippians 2:5-11

Summarize

For unity to exist there must be humility. The example for humility the Philippians are to follow is that of Jesus. Jesus is God, but when it came time to rescue the world for evil and destruction, Jesus didn’t think he needed to hold on to his rights as God, but he freely gave them up so he could become a servant, a great act of humility, so he could do what was best for his creation. His humility lead to the humiliation of death on the cross. Even though Jesus freely gave up his rights as God, God, because of Jesus’s humility, exalted Jesus above everything else in all of creation. This reveals God’s loving and gracious character and will lead all of creation to worship Him.

Truth

The humility of Jesus shows us that we will not miss out on blessing if we humble ourselves and let others go first.

Observations

1. This connects back to Paul’s teaching that we should consider others better than ourselves and to think about their interests as well as our own interests. Paul wants us to know that this call to humility is us following the example of Jesus.
2. Paul taught that Jesus is God. We may not understand all the mechanics of things, but what can understand is that Jesus voluntarily gave up rights due to him as God to rescue his creations from sin and evil.
3. Jesus’s humility led him to the humiliation of the cross and death. Our humility will, most likely, be a lot less costly.
4. “For this reason...” God exalts Jesus back to his status, gives him all authority, because he put the interests of others ahead of his own rights. God’s promise is that our sacrifice will not be in vain, that he will restore to us, and expand, all that was lost.
5. The humble obedience of Jesus, along with our humble obedience, leads to God receiving the worship that He deserves.

Prayer

Lord God, give me the wisdom, faith, and love that I need to follow the humble example of Jesus.

Tomorrow: Philippians 2:12-18

Philippians: Think of Others

  STOP — Philippians 2:1-4

Summarize

As citizens of God’s Kingdom the Philippians are to evaluate their lives. If they find that their lives are better, that they have encouragement, love, fellowship, mercy, then they are to take the next step and work for unity. They are not to think about themselves and their desires, rather they are to consider how they can love and serve each other.

Truth

God has given us good gifts so we should seek to honor Him by being united in love and purpose with each other.

Observations

1. “If, then...” should have us looking backwards. Paul previously mentioned that he wants the Philippians to live as citizens of heaven, which means they are to live lives that are worthy of the Gospel. How do they know if they are living that type of life? They are to examine themselves: do they have encouragement in Christ or consolation of love?
2. The first evidence of a life that is worthy of Jesus is the presence of encouragement, love, the presence of the Holy Spirit, and the feelings of affection and mercy. The second evidence is the choice to work for unity, to share the love God had given them, and to work with the same purpose of bringing God’s grace and love into the world.
3. The focus of our lives needs to shift for being selfish to humility. What does it mean to consider others better than ourselves? Maybe we see a vision of this with Abraham when he let Lot make the first choice of land. We can let other people go first because we are confident that God has enough blessing that we will not be left out.
4. We need to an interest in the lives of other people. It is easy for us to be consumed with what is happening to us and therefore we miss out on the ways we can serve and love those around us. It is important that we choose to pay attention to the lives of other people.

Pray

Lord Jesus, I ask for the faith to trust that You are able to bless everyone, so I don’t have to be stingy with my time, attention, and love.

For tomorrow: Philippians 2:5-11