Living in Light, Love, and Truth: Living as God’s Children

Text: 1 John 2:28–3:10

Have you noticed how much harder it’s become to feel truly connected?

In her book Adam and Eve After the Pill, Revisited, Mary Eberstadt describes how the breakdown of family life has changed our world. Children today are far less likely to grow up surrounded by siblings, cousins, aunts, or uncles. Nearly 30 percent of all households now consist of just one person, and around 40 percent of children grow up without their biological father in the home. The result, she says, is heartbreaking.

When family ties weaken, people grow isolated. They lose the sense of belonging that once came from being part of a web of relationships. There are fewer role models, fewer people to share life’s joys or griefs with, fewer opportunities to learn love, forgiveness, and commitment. And the consequences ripple outward—loneliness, anger, anxiety, and brokenness.

Eberstadt observes, “A world of fewer and weaker family ties is one in which deprived people are furious about things they do not have or no longer know.” In other words, when we lose connection to family, we lose part of what makes us whole.

That insight echoes what John teaches in 1 John 2:28–3:10. When we abide in Jesus—stay connected to Him—our lives begin to reflect His likeness. But when we drift away, our lives begin to resemble the world instead of the family of God.

The Wonder of God’s Love

John begins with amazement:

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are.” (1 John 3:1)

That’s not something we earned—it’s something we’ve been given. The world doesn’t understand this identity because it doesn’t know Him. But we do, and that changes everything. We are no longer defined by our past, our failures, or the labels the world puts on us. We are defined by the love of our Father.

And that love gives us hope. John says that when Christ appears, “we shall be like Him.” That future hope shapes our present life: those who belong to Jesus seek to live like Jesus.

Don’t let the world define who you are. When doubt or temptation whisper, remind yourself: I am a child of God. Then arrange your life to live like it—with hope and holiness.

Rejecting Sin and Reflecting the Father

John moves from identity to behavior:

“No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning.” (1 John 3:6)

He’s not saying we’ll never sin; he’s saying that those who remain in Christ don’t make peace with it. They don’t justify it or ignore it. They confess it, and through Jesus, they find forgiveness and freedom.

The difference isn’t perfection—it’s direction. True children of God are moving toward holiness, not away from it.

John makes this point clear: “The one who does what is right is righteous, just as He is righteous.” (3:7) The family resemblance is seen in our conduct. If God’s seed—His Spirit—lives in us, then His righteousness will take root and grow.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t just change our beliefs—He changes our behavior.

The Family Trait of Love

Finally, John gives the clearest mark of identity:

“Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother or sister.” (3:10)

Love is the defining trait of God’s family. It’s how the world knows who we belong to (John 13:35). We can’t claim to be children of the God who is love and live in hatred, apathy, or division.

To live as God’s child is to reflect His love in tangible ways—especially toward His other children. Love isn’t optional; it’s essential.

Living Like Who You Are

So how do we live this out?

1. Remember who you are. When you’re tempted or discouraged, remind yourself: I am a child of God. Your confidence doesn’t come from performance but from your position in Christ.
2. Purify your life through hope. Those who hope in Jesus don’t drift—they draw closer. Let the reality of His return shape your choices today.
3. Let righteousness rule your actions. Right living isn’t legalism—it’s loyalty. Every act of obedience shows your allegiance to your Father.
4. Love your brothers and sisters well. Don’t just attend church—belong to the family. Forgive quickly, serve freely, and love deeply.

Becoming Like the Father

John moves from discernment to identity, from standing against deception to living faithfully as God’s children. We have confidence at Christ’s coming when we abide in Him, reflect His righteousness, reject sin’s power, and reveal His love.

When we remain with Jesus, we don’t just stand firm—we grow strong. We begin to look like our Father, love like our Savior, and live by the Spirit’s power. And one day, when Christ appears, we’ll stand before Him confident, radiant, and finally home in the family of God.

Paul’s Ponderings is a blog dedicated to reflecting on Scripture and encouraging believers to live out their faith with love and purpose.

One Umbrella Is Enough

We’ve all seen diagrams like this—the family hierarchy laid out under a series of umbrellas, topped with “Christ” and descending through “Husband,” “Wife,” and “Children.” I have seen this image floating around social media (apparently its origin is from Bill Gothard), and I have to be honest: it struck me as not only unhelpful, but also theologically confused.

Let me explain.

First of all: Why the extra umbrellas?

If Christ truly covers the family, then no other umbrella is needed. The protection, provision, guidance, and love we all need ultimately come from King Jesus. So putting additional umbrellas under His implies that His covering is somehow incomplete or that we need human intermediaries to trickle down His blessing or that we need the person above us to intercede on our behalf. 

That’s just not how the Gospel works. Under King Jesus, every member of the family—husband, wife, and children—has direct access to Him. His lordship isn’t filtered; it’s shared. One umbrella is enough.

Second, let’s talk about that word: “Biblical.”

Slapping the label “Biblical” on an image like this gives it a sense of divine authority. But let’s be clear: this is not a biblical chart—it’s a modern, Western, post-industrial ideal of how a family should function. Yes, some of the roles mentioned (like children obeying their parents) are clearly taught in Scripture. But many of the others? Those are inferences or cultural overlays, not explicit commands.

It is crucial to remember that the Bible was written to people living in a different time and culture than we do, and this reality means that we are to take the truth and information found in Scripture to give us the wisdom to live in our time and place. 

Not only that, but the image implies that these gender roles are taught in the Bible, but in Deuteronomy (for example), it is the father, not the mother, who is commanded to teach his children about God’s covenant. 

It is logical to assume that because men are naturally stronger than women (1 Peter 3:7) that they would have the role of protector, but we also know from real life that mothers play a role protecting their families. Ever heard of a “Mama Bear”? That’s not just a cute phrase, but a role that mothers take seriously. Consider the wise woman talked about in 2 Samuel 20 who saved her entire city from Joab and Israel’s army. She used her wisdom, not her strength, to serve as a protector of her people.

The Proverbs 31 woman reminds us that women played an important role in the providing for the needs of the family. In fact she was hard at work while her husband sat at the city gate. Providing for the family doesn’t follow on the shoulders of just men, it is a shared responsibility.

The reality: Every family looks a little different

Rather than trying to cram every household into a one-size-fits-all diagram, it’s more faithful to Scripture—and more honoring to the Spirit’s work in each family—to recognize that a well-ordered home is one where both husband and wife are using their God-given gifts, strengths, and passions to lead the family in following Jesus. The distribution of tasks may vary. Who leads prayer? Who handles finances? Who gets the kids to school? It depends. And that’s okay.

The goal isn’t rigid gender roles—it’s mutual submission to Jesus.

Colossians 3:17 — The Expectation for Disciples

The Apostle Paul gives us a better summary of what godly family life looks like:

“And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” —Colossians 3:17 (CSB)

If both husband and wife—if every member of the family—is living by this truth, then that household is honoring God. It’s not about how well we align with a chart. It’s about how well we follow King Jesus.

So let’s ditch the extra umbrellas. Let’s stop using “Biblical” as a weapon to enforce cultural preferences. And let’s get back to what truly matters: Following Jesus together as a family, in whatever shape that takes.

Paul’s Ponderings is a blog dedicated to reflecting on Scripture and encouraging believers to live out their faith with love and purpose.