This is not a post I thought I would be writing today. There are so many different thoughts and feelings going through my mind right now, it is hard to know where to begin.
I will start at the best place, the beginning. For the last 12 days or so (I have lost track) I have been battling a nasty cold virus. It wiped me out, took away my appetite, and gave me a lovely lingering cough. I have spent a lot of time in bed feeling nauseated, fatigued, and on death’s door.
The nausea caused me not to want to eat or drink anything, and the result is that I became dehydrated. Last Thursday, after my afternoon nap, I woke up with an intense pain in my left calf. I ignored it because I figured I had just slept on it wrong, but by the next day it was very difficult for me to walk. On Saturday I noticed my left ankle was significantly bigger than my right, and on Sunday I realized that it wasn’t just my ankles that were different sizes. My left calf was very swollen.
I spent last night with my legs up, and the swelling went down, but this morning I could hardly walk, and Jenny insisted that I go into Urgent Care to have my leg examined. I relented, even though I really thought I should go to work today, and went into Urgent Care a little after 7AM. Upon examination, the doctor discovered a blood clot behind my left knee.
All of sudden my world change. I went from having a pesky sore leg and a lingering cold, to a very serious situation. While the reality inside my body did not change, my perspective of it did.
The doctor talked about treatment options, but I was only half listening. My mind had shifted to Jenny and Micah and how much I loved them. I thought about how I trusted God and wondered what New Creation would be like. All my unfinished plans flashed before my eyes, and I realized one day I would finally have all the time in the world to finish them.
The startling thing that happened to me today is that even though I have a fear of leaving Jenny alone and missing Micah growing up, and even though I am saddened by the thought about the possibility of not accomplishing my dreams, I am more confident than every before that God is going to redeem my life into something beautiful. No matter what happens, and I plan on sticking around for years to come, I know that God is going to use my life to accomplish something great for His Kingdom.
Here is the thought I want to leave you with today: trust God to do something beautiful with your life. Don’t live in the land of regret, we can’t go back and change the past, but we are promised a great future. When our faith is in Jesus Christ, we can be assured of a beautiful life, no matter who we are or what we have done. Trust Him to do it.